Ladies, it’s time to wake up and smell reality. If you are still on the fence about broadening your options because of “racial loyalty,” I would like to point out excerpts from an interesting article I read on AOL Black Voices entitled, “Attitudes that Can Doom an Interracial Relationship”---please note the responses from black men versus those of black women. Let’s start this off with an oldie, but goodie:
Race is just a fetish
Jennifer: It's always a tip-off if he only dates black women.
Alexis: White guys who only date black women usually have a reason. Like they were raised by black servants and feel more comfortable with black people.
Ken: Anyone who dates any race exclusively needs a shrink. America isn't a melting pot, it's a store with every flavor its shelves. So it's understandable to not step outside of your race because we're still a very segregated society. But only dating black chicks because you like big butts is the definition of a fetish. On the other hand, I've met Latin women who only date black men because they want to be with someone who can share their experiences as a minority in this country. They say Latin guys want them barefoot in the kitchen and aren't as accepting or appreciative of an upwardly mobile, professional woman.
Stress from Parents
Alexis: People often expect that the white family won't be receptive to bringing home a partner who's black. But my stepfather had big problems with me bringing home a white man. And the weird thing is, I had been dating a black man before that and he'd treated me really badly, but even though my relationship with the white guy was much better, my stepfather started asking "What happened to that black guy you were dating?" I had to move out the house because my stepfather was harassing me about my white boyfriend.
Ken: At the end of the day, it's personal and has a lot to do with gender. My pops wouldn't care what color she was, as long as I was getting some. But my mother saw it as abandoning the black woman.
Verbal attacks
Alexis: "When I'm walking down the street with a white guy, black men have gotten in my face and yelled things like 'You are against the black man!' and 'White man is the devil!' It would be nice if the white guy protected me, but I'm not sure if I'd want to see him get into a fight. When that happens, you're just left in this raw space where you feel like no one understands and you don't want to be in.
Ken: I don't notice, but I've been in a relationship where my girlfriend did. It's all about confidence. If you're walking with someone of the other race and someone says something negative it's because they could sense how nervous your partner is. Regardless of color, they saw that you could be disrespected with zero retaliation and did so.
Reacting badly to racial tension
Alexis: Whenever I walk down the street with a white guy I get stares, and when a guy gets angry about the tension and is always being defensive, it's annoying.
Ken: It's never a problem until you make it one. But reacting badly is just making everyone aware of your insecurities.
My observation has been that black men are not trying to carry the entire survival of the black race on their backs. However, some of us ladies are still beating that drum. I’m specifically speaking to women who are not exercising all of their dating/mating options and NOT to those who have moved past this point in their life’s journey. Read the entire article and then think critically about the men you see in your life/environment. Who is really making the “sacrifices” for the “black community?”
*Disclaimer – this post in no way advocates “revenge against black men”* (SMH) Source
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