The Art of Flirting & Self Respect-- Do You Have It ?

I love visual aides; therefore, I bring you scenes from "The Bodyguard" and "Waiting to Exhale."

First we have "The Bodyguard" :




Ok, now let's look at "Waiting to Exhale" :



Ok--my observations:

Clip 1
-The chemistry between the couple was extremely obvious
-Whitney's character kept DIRECT eye contact with Kevin's character
-Whitney's character SMILED and was CASUAL with Kevin's character
-Whitney's character kept drawing-out Kevin's character by ASKING Him QUESTIONS about himself in a non-threatening way (all the while charming, light and fun)
-Whitney's character casually led Kevin's character to the dance floor when a song came on she SENSED he liked (notice, the dance was NOT overtly sexual)


Clip 2
-I could smell the desperation of Whitney's character through my computer screen the moment she walked into the dance..lol
-Instead of looking casual and confident, Whitney's character searched that room (looking for her date) like the cure for cancer was "up in there"
-When the date finally showed up (smh)he immediately went into "mack" mode pretending that she was "the one" and Whitney's character ate it up...EVEN though she KNEW it was a lie. At that moment, she gave away ALL her "cards." I saw NO flirting...just a sure thing.


My point is that perhaps *some* of us who are looking at dating in a "new" light are used to dealing with the behaviors (both ours and the man's) in Clip 2. I'm suggesting, we think more about how the behaviors in Clip 1 are much more beneficial when dating. Projecting confidence is always a winning feeling, regardless of how the date turns out.

If you look at the behavior of the men in both clips, you might notice that during the different dance scenes, the men took different approaches. Kevin's character in Clip 1 was respectful, but definitely interested and attracted to Whitney's character. The character in Clip 2 was very disrespectful, imo, as he rubbed all over Whitney's bare skin and kept whispering "empty intimacies" to her. Whitney's character doesn't get a free pass either; in Clip 2 she ALLOWED herself to be "deceived" and played along with the false intimacy.

It was actually a wm's profile on a dating site that inspired this post. He stated that "he wished BW would respect themselves as much as HE respects them."